


you look so good in the clothes of a poser

by retts



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Foul Language, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, SO MUCH FLUFF, Slash, cross dressing, did I mention the fluff and lack of real life angst, holy shit i don't even follow them, if Ziam actually acted like this in real life then they'd be found out in a heartbeat by the fans, unestablished to established relationship, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:18:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retts/pseuds/retts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That one time the band decided to dress up like girls for a concert leads Liam to ask himself that age old question: should he cross-dress again just for his boyfriend's entertainment?</p>
            </blockquote>





	you look so good in the clothes of a poser

**Author's Note:**

> Was listening to Stars' _What I'm Trying To Say_ and then thought: Liam cross dressing for Zayn. Okay. Because obviously the first line of the song makes one think of cross dressing. And fuck, I don’t even know how this thing turned into 11k when it was just originally a 1k sort of PWP. It’s still PWP but with more Liam flailing around. It's the longest thing I've written in nearly a year. And like, I don’t even follow 1D or fancy their songs despite how catchy they are? I was just sort of sucked in by the perfection that is Ziam. So yeah, this thing is vague as hell on RL details, probably out of character, with lots of run on sentences and the overuse of certain words. Sorry. 
> 
> Also I made a mix of sorts while I was writing this. Songs that made me think of Ziam. 
> 
> [la da da da da](http://depositfiles.com/files/5284ylr0a)
> 
> When U Love Somebody by Fruit Bats  
> Lostboy by The Subways  
> I’ll Hold My Breath by Elie Goulding  
> Clean White Love by Lisa Mitchell  
> I Saw Lightning by Telekinesis  
> 10,000 Nights by Alphabeat  
> You! Me! Dancing! by Los Campesinos  
> What I’m Trying to Say by Stars  
> Such Great Heights by The Postal Service  
> [](http://imgur.com/OCbJr)  
> 

-

Like everything else, they blamed Louis. It had been his stupid idea in the first place and Liam really should have put his foot down and vetoed it, like, immediately, but he'd laughed along with the others after the words had left Louis' mouth. Louis had taken that as a  _yes_ , and the other lads had been pissed enough to pinky swear, and somehow - 

Liam had never in his entire life heard the kind of noise he did as the band stepped out on stage in skirts and heels and shiny Forever 21 blouses. They were all red-cheeked, multiplied by a hundred on the massive screens on stage, and Liam couldn't believe they had dared, that they had actually done it.  _God_.

Louis was beaming widely and he looked ridiculous prancing on stage with Harry and Niall mimicking his moves, laughing like idiots as they wobbled, cocked out their hips, and twirled each other around. Zayn slung an arm round Liam's shoulders and shook him a little, and Liam gave up: he'd never felt so embarrassed in his life, his family was going to see him, and the Internet never forgets, but he'd spent half an hour practising with the heels on, okay, and he was going to bloody strut his stuff now that he was out here. Liam bumped his hip against Zayn's along to the music, and Zayn flashed him a brilliant grin and whispered into Liam's ear, 'Nice legs, Li!'

 

-

 

'Oh my god I can see your knickers!' shouted Harry as they crowded on Niall's bed watching YouTube videos of their concert.

Zayn slapped the back of Harry's neck. 'I wasn't wearing knickers you git.'

'I'm still wearing mine now,' Louis whispered loudly and they all dissolved into giggles.

'I can't believe it's got half a million hits already. It's only been like three hours,' Liam muttered as he scrolled down Twitter on his phone. It had been buzzing all night with texts from his sisters and friends back home, mostly just to say HAHAHAHAHAHA.

'Cos Lady Direction is like the coolest thing right now,' Niall said, and Louis laughed and wrapped his arms around Niall who squawked when his crisps were crushed. 'What? It's the hash tag on Twitter!'

'You have to admit we look pretty gorgeous,' Harry said as he opened a new tab and Googled pictures of themselves, 'though,' Harry clicked on a thumbnail, 'that skirt makes your arse look positively massive, Lou.'

'Who are you calling fat!' Louis yelled and launched himself at Harry; they tumbled off the bed. Niall sat up and watched them tussle, showering crumbs all over the sheets as he egged them on.

The mattress dipped as Zayn rolled closer to Liam until their shoulders were pressed together. He clicked back to YouTube. 'Hazza's got a point though,' he said to Liam, who hooked his chin on Zayn's shoulder to have a look.

Liam blew out a disgruntled breath. 'You, maybe, but I look like a lesbian or summat.'

Zayn chuckled under his breath and turned his head a fraction, their eyes locking.  Liam licked his lips. 'I dunno, I think you look hot,' murmured the other boy and Liam rolled his eyes and pinched Zayn on the elbow.

Ignored the way his cheeks felt hot.

And how his heart stupidly skipped a beat.

 

-

 

The next few weeks it was what they were only asked about in interviews, and television appearances, and radio shows. Louis took all the credit and Niall was teased relentlessly because, out of all of them, he looked like the most convincing girl.

They were asked who bought the clothes, how did they convince Management, was it easy to dance in heels, and, most importantly, would they do it again?

Liam's face must have done something, maybe an Oh-my-god-save-me look, because Harry guffawed and hugged him and said, 'I don't think Liam'll enjoy that very much. He's a lad's lad, our Liam.' 

Liam shook his head, swatting Harry's curls away from his face. 'No it wasn't as if - eventually it was fun and - it was like the silliest thing I'd ever done, yeah? Considering everything. So. But like, the lads will gang up on me and it won't really matter what I say.'

'Is that a yes then?' the interviewer asked eagerly.

They all looked at each other, eyebrows raised, eyes blinking, lips twitching. Louis grinned.

 

-

 

They were nearly mobbed to death a week later, exiting out the back door of a studio. Somehow the bodyguards were a second too late, the van was a few feet too far, and the fans were frighteningly determined.

Tears and declarations of love and marriage proposals and signs covered in glitter were shoved in their faces as the lads were jostled through the crowd. Harry was practically climbing Louis' back and Liam grabbed Niall's hand before the blond was dragged away to god knows where. Liam winced when a girl practically shrieked in his ear and the sound lanced through the headache that had been steadily worsening throughout a day of interviews and tapings and smiling a lot.

Two large warm hands suddenly clasped over Liam's ears and Liam jumped, but it was only Zayn (the smell of cigarettes on his skin). Liam relaxed slightly, leaning back against him. They must have looked weird walking like that but Liam didn't care because the world was muffled a bit and Zayn was calm and reassuring behind him.

 

-

 

Eventually the excitement died down, but Tranny Direction remained a fond memory in Tumblr.

 

-

 

A month after they were at a signing when Harry burst into tears and declared he was pregnant and Louis better take responsibility or he was going to leave him for Niall, and videos of that were all over YouTube within seconds.

Under the table, Zayn grabbed Liam's hand and held it as they snickered at Paul's dismayed face.

 

-

 

Two months later, Zayn kissed Liam for the first time (well: not exactly, but for real this time).

Liam didn't even hesitate as he kissed back.

  
  
-

 

Fifteen minutes after that, Louis burst into their hotel room just as Liam had his hand down Zayn's trousers.

'My eyes!' cried Louis, grinning stupidly at them between his fingers. He looked well chuffed to be the one to catch them together.

'Get out!' said Liam, throwing a glare over his shoulder.

Zayn hid his furiously blushing face against Liam's neck and his teeth latched on firmly to the muscle there. Liam made a sound like he was dying and said, 'Go away, Louis!'

'Right, yeah, going.' The door creaked open. 'I'm just so proud of you two,' and Liam heard Louis' footsteps - hopefully - retreating out of the room. 'Have fun, and stay safe!' Louis called out impishly before the door finally snapped shut. Liam sighed in relief.

'You know he's rushing off to tell the lads, yeah? Louis can't keep his mouth shut,' Zayn said as he dragged his tongue over the teeth marks on Liam's skin.

'I don't care.' Liam paused. 'Unless you do?'

He could feel Zayn's smile on his pulse which was beating fast and hard. 'Not if you don't,' replied Zayn as he rolled his hips to remind Liam where his hand was and Liam obligingly curled his fingers.

Liam tipped Zayn's head up and kissed him deeply. 'Alright then.'

 

-

 

The next day at breakfast there were a lot of bright smiles and eyebrow wagging from Harry, Louis, and Niall.

'So is Ziam going to overshadow Larry Stylinson from now on?' Louis asked no one in particular. The other two lost it, clutching at each other as they laughed.

Liam flipped them off and Zayn ate his toast calmly beside him, a smug little smile curling his lips.

  
-

 

(And when the days and cities have all begun to blend together and the only way to find something tangible was to see Louis smile, or make Harry laugh, or return Niall's hugs, or wake up next to Zayn, or sing together)  
  
  
When Harry and Louis made a scene like they usually did, this time reenacting that one moment from  _Love Actually_  with the signs, Liam and Zayn stole a kiss and mouthed 'I love yous' to each other behind Niall who was sat between them, texting Demi.

 

-

 

 

'So like, are you ever going to be done within this century?' Liam asked as he fiddled with the corner of the pillow on his lap. He was sat on the bed, back against the headboard, listening to Zayn putter about in the bathroom.

'Five minutes, I promise,' Zayn replied. 'And I don't appreciate the sarcasm.'

'Come on Zayn, I'm starving!'

'I just have to get my hair right, Li, then we'll go, yeah?'

Liam sighed and went to lie sideways on the bed, his knees dangling off the edge. He should be used to it by now. Zayn could be incredibly vain about how he looked sometimes, especially his hair. He was always checking the state of it off any reflective surface he found. Usually Liam thought it was cute and gave Zayn little kisses on the cheek and lips and told him how hot he was, 'like really fit and I just want to take you somewhere private and suck you off.' That one never failed to make Zayn drag Liam away from whichever party or event was going on at the time.

He wasn't inclined to be so nice now. He'd forgotten to eat lunch, caught up in the song he'd been trying to write for weeks. He thrummed his fingers on his stomach in time to the melody playing in his head. Christ, he couldn’t wait to flesh out this song and then bin it with satisfaction – unless it turned out decent after all.

Liam caught sight of Zayn's phone peeking out from under one of the fluffy pillows and reached for it.

A smile automatically quirked the corner of his mouth when he saw his own face on Zayn's mobile when he unlocked it. He had the same picture as his phone wallpaper - the one where they were innocently cuddled on the sofa, Liam's head on Zayn's lap; Liam had been saying something and waving his hands and Zayn was looking down at him with a look on his face that spoke volumes, entire libraries.

He flicked through Zayn's apps and played Doodle Jump for a few minutes but got bored when he kept missing the ledges. He scrolled down Zayn's playlist, found nothing that interested him, and closed it. His foot tapped the air impatiently.

Liam would later swear that he didn't know how he ended up in that secret folder, he just did, and he would have quickly went out of it if he'd not seen the picture. Liam respected other people's privacy and boundaries, even if being in the band made it hard to remember those things existed sometimes; Zayn's was even more important.

And at first he didn't even realise what exactly he was staring at. His thumb hovered over the Home button when the wave of brown hair and the curve of jaw suddenly registered and -

'Oh my god,' Liam whispered to himself as he sat up, fingers gripping the phone tightly. His eyes were huge, his eyebrows going as far up as they could. 'Oh my god,' he repeated and brought the mobile closer to his face.

It was a picture of him, only Liam had never seen this one before, and he thought he'd seen every single one after Harry had made a slide show of all the photos of them in drag and made it his laptop's screensaver.

But this one: Liam seated on a sofa, a bit of thigh showing as the skirt hiked up his leg, his body angled sideways and bent at the waist as he slipped his right foot into a pump - this one was new and startling and Liam dug the heel of his palm into one eye, the other still staring. His thoughts tumbled over themselves because this picture was in Zayn's phone, and in the picture Liam was in the dressing room before the concert and the only other person with him then had been Zayn, and Zayn must have been the one to take this snapshot of Liam in a skirt unintentionally showing some leg.

A memory came to him then, of Zayn telling Liam he looked hot but - surely he'd been joking? Liam stopped rubbing his eye to drag a hand through his hair, mystified. It could have been a joke, this; a private memento of that one time they decided to dress up like girls for a concert. Then - why hadn’t Zayn shared this with the other lads and got a good giggle out of it? Why just this one photo of Liam? This one slightly blurry, slightly lopsided picture of Liam that seemed much too soft and intimate to be a laugh, the way the angle of Liam's neck was caught lovingly and the shadows played on his cheekbone and jaw.

Liam bit his lip as a (stupendously absurd) idea niggled in his brain. It made him blush and his heart pound. Did Zayn -

'Alright I'm done,' said Zayn as he stepped out of the bathroom, looking perfectly coifed even if they were just having dinner out and maybe a film later on, and Liam fumbled with the mobile, closing the picture and locking the device. He glanced over his shoulder as casually as possible, trying not to look like he'd just been snooping - however accidentally - through his boyfriend's phone.

Zayn arched a brow at Liam's face. 'You okay? You seem a bit flushed.'

Liam nodded and willed his blush to fuck off. 'Yeah, it's - don't worry about - I just saw something, ehm, embarrassing on Tumblr.'

'Really? What of?'

He waved a dismissive hand and dropped Zayn's mobile on the bed. 'Just a stupid, like, video. Not even ours.'

For a moment Zayn looked like he wanted to quiz Liam or something, because Liam was a horrible liar and Zayn could read him like a book, but then he shrugged and spread his arms wide. 'Am I good to go then?'

Liam's smile curled into something more genuine as he walked towards the other boy. He locked the idea in the back of his mind for now, more interested in the way Zayn's eyes grew hooded as Liam placed both hands on Zayn's shoulders and dragged them up and back until he could link his fingers behind Zayn's neck. Zayn's own hands instantly settled in their place on Liam's hips.

'You know you always look good, babe,' said Liam in a low voice. He pecked the other boy on the lips. 'You're gorgeous.'

Zayn tipped his head back slightly, looking pleased, the vain git. 'Yeah? You think so?'

'Hmm.' Liam kissed him again, licking inside Zayn's mouth for long moments before pulling away with a nibble on his bottom lip. 'Now stop fishing for compliments and let's go eat, yeah?'

 

-

  
They couldn't be too obvious, of course. To the rest of the world, Liam and Zayn were just really, really great mates. Sometimes they might borrow the other's clothes, or be snapped by paparazzi cuddled in some restaurant, or with one's head on the other's shoulder, but that didn't mean much considering that One Direction was famous for being excessively affectionate. For every moment between Zayn and Liam, there were four more by Harry and Louis, or Harry and Niall.

Liam really had the most brilliant best friends in the world who would ham it up for the cameras watching so that Liam and Zayn could hold hands, or sneak a comforting kiss, or share a quiet second or two. They made it possible for Liam and Zayn to  _be_.

 

-

 

The lads had a favourite fish and chips shop in the city; a tiny off the wall place tucked at the end of an alley. There were no paps lurking, no girls giggling and staring - except for the one behind the till but after the first few times she got used to them - and they could relax without having to worry about some candid photo of them appearing in Tumblr the next day.

Liam and Zayn were seated across from each other in a corner booth. The shop was fairly empty, just the girl - Nancy - behind the till and an old couple across the room.

Liam tucked into his food enthusiastically. Zayn watched him with an amused smile, picking idly at his chips.

'Not hungry?' asked Liam, dipping a chip into ketchup and popping it in his mouth.

'Not like you,' said Zayn. 'I keep reminding you to eat, Liam.'

Liam made a face. 'I just forget, you know. It's not like I do it on purpose. I was just - it's really annoying, the song's there but,' Liam shrugged one shoulder, 'it's being blood stubborn at the moment.'

Zayn stole a bite of Liam's cod. 'Maybe you should try one of those relaxation techniques, deep breathing or something. Paul told me it works wonders for his patience whenever Larry Stylinson acts up.'

Grinning, Liam lightly kicked Zayn under the table. Zayn smirked and rubbed the tip of his Converse against Liam's ankle.

'You're still going home to Wolverhampton, right?'

Liam nodded. 'Mum wants me home by Friday. There's like a welcome home do the next day or something. She's probably invited all those Great Aunts who pinch cheeks.'

'That's because you're so cute, Li,' Zayn teased and reached across the table to pinch Liam's cheek.

Liam ducked away. 'Oi you've got ketchup on your fingers!'

Zayn licked his fingers and wriggled them in the air. Liam rolled his eyes and said, 'That's so unsanitary, Zayn.'

'I've had worse in my mouth,' said Zayn with the slightest arch of his brow, and it took Liam a few seconds to get it, but when he did, his cheeks turned bright red and his eyes widened.

'Oh my god, shut up,' Liam hissed, balling up a napkin and throwing it at Zany's head. He missed. 'I can't believe - you're so - don't say things like that!'

Zayn burst out laughing; both elbows perched on the table, hands covering his eyes. 'Your  _face_ , Li. Shit.'

'I hate you,' muttered Liam, sinking low in his seat, picking at the few remaining chips on his plate. His face still felt uncomfortably hot. 'Like a lot. Loads.'

Still snickering, Zayn cupped his chin in his palm. His eyes were bright, and his mouth was curved in that smile, the fond one. 'No you don't,' said Zayn, 'you love me. Like a lot. Loads.'

Liam shook his head, unable to refute that, and stuck his tongue out at him. He fed himself a mouthful of fish and swallowed it down with his soda. 'Your Mum must be keen to have you home too. Your train’s for this Saturday, isn’t it?'

'Yeah: she’s been ringing me nonstop, like I'll change my mind or something. And the girls have been begging me to bring you along.'

Liam pushed his fringe to the side but they fell back over his eyes almost immediately. 'I thought they fancied Harry.'

'Well, they fancy you now. Says you're adorable and sweet and ideal boyfriend material. Waliyha plans on stealing you from me.' Zayn winked at him.

Liam raised his eyebrows. 'I  _am_  partial to the Maliks.'

'Just try it, Payne.'

Liam smiled and sipped his Coke. The conversation drifted into comfortable silence as Liam emptied his plate, and then Zayn's. He fiddled with the straw stuck in his Coke, watching Zayn pull out his phone and text his Mum with an eye roll at Liam. He bit the inside of his cheek when he remembered; that picture. His eyes lowered, fingers twisting the straw. He wanted to ask Zayn about it. What would Zayn say? Maybe he'd be cross that Liam had been searching through his phone.

And, well, for some reason he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer. What would Liam do if Zayn admitted that he liked it when Liam had worn that skirt, those heels?  What if Zayn  _didn't_  like it and got offended?

But what if it really was the first one, and Zayn would ask, if Liam was okay with it, then maybe he could wear something like it again?

Liam glanced up the same time as Zayn did, and Zayn gave him a small smile. Liam smiled back and mentally slapped himself. There was no way of knowing what Zayn really thought unless Liam asked him. It was useless and kind of creepy wondering about it. He was probably blowing this out of proportion like he usually did.

'Which film do you want to see?' asked Zayn, putting his mobile away.

Liam shrugged. 'Something loud and violent?'

'Excellent. I'm sick of all those chick flicks Louis' forces us to watch in the guise of “understanding the fans”.'

'I still can't believe he made us watch  _27 Dresses_ , like, five times.'

Zayn tapped the table and grinned. 'Because Louis is always the bridesmaid, never the bride.'

'And Harry's Bridezilla! God, can you imagine that wedding?'

Their eyes met and they burst into giggles.

 

-

 

It was after the film and they were walking back to Zayn's flat, ears still faintly ringing from the surround-sound explosions and gunfire. It was freezing out with the softest sprinkle of rain. They kept their heads down, their entangled hands in Zayn's coat pocket.

'I'll miss you, Li,' whispered Zayn, tilting his head to look at Liam.

Liam smiled softly and squeezed Zayn's hand. 'I'll only be gone for a fortnight.'

Zayn shrugged. 'Still.'

Liam's chest ached in a good way. He shuffled until they were as close as possible without actually hugging. 'I'll miss you too, of course. Horribly. You'll probably accuse me of being clingy and dependent, that's how much I'll miss you.'

Zayn chuckled quietly and looked down at his shoes, a smile playing on his lips. He blew out a cold breath and met Liam's gaze again. He knocked their shoulders together. 'Come on, let's get a kebab.'

 

-

 

In the two weeks that Liam was home he couldn't stop thinking about The Picture in between sleeping until midday, seeing old friends, watching his Mum make tea, and texting the other boys. He Googled Tranny Direction to look for the photo from Zayn's phone, but he couldn't find it anywhere. He did learn something though, thanks to all those Tumblr fangirls: Zayn had spent an awful lot of time staring at Liam's legs.

 

-

 

Liam had this thing that made him incapable of asking or answering things directly when he was embarrassed. He'd try and stammer out words and he'd be acutely aware of his own mortification, the way his face burned, and then he'd give up and sulk in a corner because he was, like, such an idiot. So, no, Liam didn't get asked the gut-wrenchingly humiliating questions, and if he did, and he got really uncomfortable, the other boys would run interference.

Which was why Liam just couldn't outright ask Zayn, or any of the lads. So he waited, and schemed, and if his brilliant plan amounted to getting Zayn drunk then fucking his brains out before asking him in that semi-conscious so-close-to-coming stage, then.

Then, well. That was just Liam being sneaky.

 

-

 

Zayn smelt of cigarettes and sweat mixed with his cologne. Liam breathed in deeply, his forehead resting on Zayn's bared nape.

'God, Liam, please - ' Zayn thrust his hips to get Liam to move. 'Fuck me already. Come on. Li, please.'

Liam dragged his tongue across Zayn's left scapula, tasting salt and warm skin. 'Hmm?'

Zayn whined.  _'Liam_.'

'Okay,' agreed Liam. He grasped Zayn's clenched fists, pressed his chest to Zayn's back, and rolled his dick over the other boy's prostate. Zayn groaned and arched his spine. Liam went slowly, sweat dripping from his hair to Zayn's shoulders, mouthing and biting Zayn's neck, listening to Zayn babble with hot satisfaction in his belly.

'Li,  _please_ , harder, faster, I need - ' Zayn panted, his voice low and hoarse. 'Fuck me harder babe, come on, harder, I want to come, yeah? Yeah?'

'Okay,' said Liam into his ear, 'later,' and let out a breathy moan when Zayn clenched desperately around him. Zayn reached up and fisted his fingers in Liam's hair.

Liam nibbled on Zayn's earlobe, hips almost lazily fucking Zayn into the mattress. 'So, babe, lemme ask you,' he whispered, then took a deep breath, partly to psych himself up, partly because Zayn had just rubbed his bum into Liam's crotch, making his dick slide even deeper. His voice was a low croak when he went on. 'Do you, did you like it when we - when I dressed up like a girl? For that show?'

Zayn moaned and nodded. 'Shit yeah, you looked so - so bloody  _good_ , Li. Your legs, I can't even...God yeah  _harder_  just like that - '

Liam swallowed. 'Would you, what if I, do you want me to do it again? Just for you?'

Zayn gasped and looked over his shoulder, his eyes wide and worshipful and fever-bright.  _'Fuck_ , Liam, fuck, fuck! Would you, please?  _Would_  you?'

Liam shuddered at the pleading tone and bit down on the other boy's shoulder. His gut tightened. He dug his toes into the bed and began thrusting into Zayn in earnest. 'Okay,' he said through gritted teeth, wringing sounds out of Zayn's throat that made his dick throb. 'Okay.'

 

-

 

Zayn didn't remember in the morning when he woke up with a languid stretch and a sleepy but incredible smile on his face.

Liam couldn't forget.

 

 -

 

They had just done a guest stint on some German breakfast programme and Liam was, once again, ruminating on his problem. Zayn and Harry were being interviewed and Louis was trying to charm one of the crew with his nonexistent German to get him some Starbucks coffee since the ones on the snacks table were awful. A faint smile lingered on Liam's lips as the terrible accent reached his ears.

'Hey what's up?' A foot nudged Liam's knee and he looked to the side as Niall sat beside him. They were sort of squished in the corner, leaning against the wall and partially blocked by a random set design.

'Hiya,' mumbled Liam.

Niall had somehow got his hands on a doughnut. Sugar stained his lips as he chewed.

'Where'd you get that?'

'Some kind soul gave it to me after our song. Bless.'

Liam chuckled. 'Lou's been trying to sweet talk that girl into buying him a coffee and sandwich for the last fifteen minutes. In German. Though I think he's confused his French a bit there.'

'He'll never succeed since she's not Harry,' said Niall around a mouthful. He swallowed and inclined his head curiously towards Liam. 'So what're you thinking so hard over here, mate?'

Liam frowned. 'Nothing.'

'Uh-huh. You're sat here with that Liam look on your face, instead of waiting for Zayn to be done with, like, a different Liam look on.'

He had no idea what Niall had just said. 'Sorry - but what the bloody hell are you on about?'

The blond licked his chocolate covered fingers - 'Niall use a tissue!' - and grinned. 'You know how you've got Liam looks right? There's "Oh my god I can't believe you said/did that" and "I am so worried that you're going to get yourself killed" and, my favourite, "Zayn you're so hot take me now!" look. You know.'

Liam choked out a disbelieving laugh. 'I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered. You've categorised my expressions?'

'Yep.'

'Wow.' Liam stared at the other boy. 'Just wow.'

Niall scuffed him lightly on the temple. 'But really, you look like you're very quietly freaking out over here, Liam. And you’ve been kind of weird and distracted lately. Zayn’s been having his own freak outs about it.'

On stage, the audience applauded on cue. They could hear Harry's slow words over the laughter.

Gaze dropping, Liam bent one leg so he could rest an elbow on his knee. He chewed on his thumbnail. It was true, yeah, but Liam didn’t mean to be so preoccupied that the others began to worry, and Zayn  _had_  been giving him these little looks, as if he wanted to ask Liam what was wrong but was uncertain if he ought to since Liam usually told him everything eventually anyway. Liam was  _obsessed_  and he was really good at that.

'It's kind of...' His other hand flapped helplessly in the air. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell anyone. No, he was pretty certain he didn't, but he snuck a quick glance at Niall's serious face and Niall made a "go on" motion with his hands and that crumbled Liam's resolve. 'What if, hypothetically right - '

'But not really hypothetically,' Niall said knowingly.

Liam's mouth tugged into a reluctant grin but then twisted at the corners. 'Right. Just hypothetically, yeah, you're not sure if you should - there's this, ehm, thing that someone you love likes and you don't know if you should, like, get it for him. But you want to make that person happy though, and it's not really all that bad, you think. Except it kind of is? And.' Liam huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes at himself. 'I sound completely mental, huh?'

Niall wasn't amused, though. He took Liam's hand in his and his eyes were dead serious. 'Li, whatever kinky sex thing Zayn wants you to do, you have every right to refuse him, alright?'

'What? That's not - ' Liam sputtered and shook his head wildly. 'Niall that's not it! God!'

Except it totally was, even if Zayn didn't know he'd asked for it.

Niall cocked his head, frowning. 'Then what is it?'

Liam took a deep breath. 'Just a thing! A something! It's embarrassing, okay, so if you could just not ask for specifics, that'd be ace.'

'Oh, well.' Niall let go of Liam and scratched behind his ear. 'It's not gonna kill either of you, right? Since that'd be bad for the band and everything.' At Liam's reluctant nod, Niall continued in his wisest voice. 'Then why not? If it doesn't hurt you or anyone else. I reckon you've thought it over a million times, written out the pros and cons in neat, bulleted lists - don't deny it mate, I  _know_  you. Then, right, you've already decided, at least partially. YOLO, Liam.'

'I hate that phrase,' Liam muttered, giving Niall a grateful one-armed hug nonetheless. Niall’s words helped, sort of. 'Thanks, Nialler - but like, if you say anything to anyone I will tell Paul to put you on a diet.'

Niall pulled back, face horrified. 'Liam!'

Just then Louis jumped over both of them, pouting. 'She wouldn't get me my coffee! Bloody Germans.' He caught sight of Niall's expression and flicked the blond's forehead. 'Oi, what's wrong with you?'

'Liam is evil,' Niall said accusingly. 'He's only been pretending to be cute and cuddly and sweet to lull us into a sense of false security - then whammy! He stabs you in the back.'

Louis snorted and poked his finger into Liam's cheekbone. 'Him? The one who turned our deep, mysterious friend Zayn Malik-from-Bradford into a thirteen year old love struck girl? This Liam?'

Niall nodded gravely. 'Yes.'

Louis shot him a haughty look and threw his arms in the air, nearly hitting Liam's face (‘Lou! Watch it!’) with a skinny elbow. 'Well duh, Nialler: Liam is obviously an evil mastermind. Only the cruelest of men would do that to a fellow!'

'Wankers,' laughed Liam as he pushed Louis off his lap. Louis dramatically gasped as he tumbled into Niall, crying, 'You beastly brute!'

 

-

 

He lay in bed later that night, fingers resting on his bare stomach. Harry slept on the other bed, snoring lightly. Liam's eyes were closed, a faint line between his eyebrows. Thoughts and memories twisted in his head; Liam's emotions were no better.

It wasn't because Liam was insecure of his masculinity or had a weird hang up about his body. The problem was - Liam hated making a fool of himself. Even just the thought of it made his belly tighten with anxiety. Zayn might like the look of Liam in a skirt or a dress or whatever, but Liam knew he had looked ridiculous then and would still look stupid the second time round. His shoulders were too broad, his arms too firm, his hips too narrow, his arse too flat - god, Liam would look unappealing. It had been all Louis at the concert. This, this would be all on Liam.

But he also couldn't stop picturing the hunger in Zayn's eyes when Liam had asked if he wanted it; Zayn had practically begged Liam. He'd always been pathetically bad at denying Zayn whatever he wanted. Liam could give Harry a run for his money in that department, and Harry and Louis weren't even dating.

Zayn – Zayn wouldn’t laugh though, not meanly, not when he knew about Liam’s issues and things, not when he wanted it.

Liam scrubbed both hands over his face and groaned. So he was doing this then.

  
-

  
  
It was annoyingly late in the evening when the lads were finally ushered into the van and back to the hotel. Louis, Niall, and Harry were in the middle row; Lou and Niall leaning into each other as they slept and Harry murmuring into his phone, hunched into himself for more privacy.

Liam was staring out the window, Parisian streets going by, lights illuminating his face. For the first time in months Liam felt calm and more like himself. Zayn's hand was warm and heavy on his thigh. He sighed happily and played with the bracelets on the other boy's wrist.

'Hey.'

Liam turned to look at Zayn and curled his lips. 'Hey.'

Zayn's eyes roamed all over Liam's face. He looked slightly hesitant when he said, 'You and I, we're good, right?'

Eyebrows pinching together, Liam nodded. 'Of course, yeah.'

Zayn stared at him for a few seconds longer then dipped his head. 'Okay,' he said quietly, more to himself than anything. The van went inside a tunnel and shrouded everything in shadows and the occasional flickering light from a passing car.

Glancing briefly at the others, Liam reached forward and carded his fingers through Zayn's hair before cupping the back of his neck. Liam hated that he’d made Zayn worry. The other boy always seemed so confident but that just meant the insecurities hit Zayn deeper: his looks, his voice, and especially his relationship with Liam. He kissed the other boy softly, all lips, and murmured, 'We're perfect, Zayn.'

Zayn squeezed Liam's thigh and nodded, curling their pinky fingers together.

 

-

 

The clothes were hidden in the bottommost drawer of his wardrobe, under the ugliest brown-striped jumper that Liam owned. They had been surprisingly easy to get.

Liam fingered the silky fabric. He imagined what Zayn's reaction would be and his cheeks reddened. Zayn's eyes would probably go all dark and hot, and he'd slide his hands up Liam's leg under the skirt -

'God,' Liam muttered and shut the wardrobe forcefully.

 

-

  
The night Liam finally decided to do it was after they had a wild concert at home. It was the sort of show where everything was absolutely on point. Their harmonies were wicked. Their jokes were fucking hilarious. Their affection was abundant. The crowd was amazing. They couldn't stop saying the words  _massive_  and  _epic_  and  _thank you_  and  _we love you_  and  _I love you_  and  _brilliant_.

Zayn was doing his solo for the final song and Liam looked at him, so bright and beautiful and happy, and thought  _yeah, alright_. Something clicked inside him and he placed his arm over Zayn's shoulders and put his lips to the microphone and listened as their voices, his and the rest of the lads, soared to the sky.

When the show was over, and the audience was still screaming their names, Zayn pushed Liam against the wall backstage and kissed him hard. Liam slipped his tongue alongside Zayn's and tugged on his sweaty hair. 'God, that was bloody brilliant. You were brilliant, Li,' Zayn panted when they pulled apart, and Liam beamed and dragged him back in to suck on his tongue. Zayn groaned and dragged his lips down Liam's neck, biting down on the curve, sucking on the skin.

'Hey, hey you lovebirds!' Louis shouted and threw himself against Zayn's back with a mad giggle. 'Stop humping each other and let's go dancing!'

Liam leaned his head back and grinned. There was no way they couldn't  _not_  go out with energy still whirling in their veins, making their hearts pound. The high of performing and being adored still making them grin like loons.

'Yeah why not?' Liam said and Louis let out a whoop and hugged both Liam and Zayn as best he could. Harry and Niall jumped on top of Louis and they all wobbled and fell in a heap on the floor, laughing hysterically.

Paul stood over them and scowled. 'What's this? Do you lot  _want_  broken bones?'

Harry wriggled his head out from under Louis' arm and grinned up at him. 'We're gonna party all night long!'

'And get fucking pissed until next week!' Niall said excitedly. 'We should turn that into a song. It could be, like, our anthem.'

Liam stood up and pulled Zayn to his feet. Paul arched a brow at him and Liam shrugged, bright grin on his face. Paul rubbed his forehead and sighed. 'You boys are going to be the death of me,' he muttered.

Louis jumped up and clapped Paul on the shoulder. 'Don't worry; you can buy the first round.'

 

-

 

The club was dark, loud, and swimming with bodies. They had been ushered to the VIP section, tossed back a few shots, and danced a bit earlier. Now they were sprawled on the sofas, talking amongst themselves and laughing drunkenly at every story. Liam was the most sober, sipping once in a while from Zayn's pint. Zayn dragged his nose through Liam's hair, inhaling deeply. He'd stuck to Liam like glue all night, and his hands and eyes had been all over Liam when they'd danced.

Harry was cuddled into Louis' side, one hand holding a beer and the other waving as he told them about this girl he used to date who had the most talented tongue -

'God she was like a machine, I tell you,' cried Harry. 'A sucking machine.'

Louis grabbed a fistful of the boy's curls and shook Harry's head. 'You are such a perv, Hazza. You were what - fifteen? Eleven?'

Harry giggled. 'I'm not telling.'

'You just told us a dirty story about your ex-girlfriend! Your age'll not matter,' Niall protested. His face was already flushed, eyes glassy. Liam eyed the pint the blond was holding; was it his fourth or fifth? Well, it wasn't really Liam's problem tonight. Paul and his legion of assistants were sat at the next table, nursing their own drinks, occasionally glancing at the boys to make sure they were still there, limbs and dignity intact.

Liam settled more comfortably against Zayn and felt the gentle rumble of his chest when he asked, 'Did she try and hook up with you after X Factor then?'

Harry's grin turned sly. 'Maybe,' he drawled, and then ruined it by winking outrageously.

'You slut,' Louis accused and pushed Harry away. 'You cheated on me? After we made a baby? Let me say it now - all men are pigs.'

Harry sniffed and wrapped his arms round Niall, who was staring lovingly at his pint. 'Niall's a much better shag than you anyway.'

Louis gasped, scandalised. Niall smiled widely and nodded.

Liam laughed quietly into Zayn's collarbone. Zayn toyed with the hair at the back of Liam's head. He tilted his mouth down to Liam's ear and murmured, 'You're the best fuck, Li.'

Colour bloomed on Liam's cheeks and he bit his lip to hide a smile. He darted a quick glance at the other three - Louis and Niall were playing tug of war with Harry - and let his fingers dip under Zayn's button-down. He rubbed slow circles on Zayn's hipbone. 'Yeah? Well  _I_  think you're the best fuck ever, Zayn.' He nuzzled his face into the other boy's neck and gently bit the end of his collarbone.

Fingers tightened in Liam's hair. 'Let's just agree that we have brilliant sex all the time,' Zayn said, smirk just a tad filthy.

'But don't you think it'd be fun to find out?' Liam angled his head back to grin at Zayn.

'Incredibly fun.' He kissed the top of Liam's head. His other hand dragged up Liam's thigh. 'Maybe we should go find out now.'

They both jumped when a plastic coaster suddenly smacked Liam lightly on the shoulder.

'Did you just throw that?' asked Liam incredulously when he turned to look at Louis.

Louis unrepentantly crossed his arms. 'We don't appreciate you going off into your own world. You two are  _so_  - you should just surgically attach yourselves together and be done with it.'

Grinning, Zayn drew Liam closer and flipped the older boy off. 'You're just jealous, Lou. Look at you: you're green at the edges,' he taunted.

Louis scoffed loudly. 'Keep dreaming, Malik. I'm single and satisfied, I'll have you know.'

Harry burst out laughing. 'You are not. You've been bemoaning the fact that you're single for ages!'

Louis scoffed again. 'Patently untrue! You, Styles, are a lying liar who lies!'

Niall tried mumbling 'patently' to himself but kept on tripping. Then he shook his head and drained the last of his beer. He slammed the glass down on the table and burped. 'You lot are way too sober. More drinking less, uh, less saying words!'

'Your round, Niall. Cheers mate,' Harry said cheerfully, waving two fingers at him.

The blond grumbled and got up off the seat and made his way unsteadily to the busy bar.

'I wanna dance some more,' Louis announced and grabbed Harry's hand. 'Come on Hazza, let's boogie. Leave the lovebirds here before they corrupt us with their disgusting couple-y stuff.'

Dimples showing, Harry nodded and dropped his glass on the table. They flailed towards the dance floor, immediately swallowed up by the writhing bodies, ignoring Liam's 'What about Niall's round?'

'Niall's going to be so fucking hungover tomorrow,' Zayn said, pulling Liam back down on the sofa. Liam huffed and shook his head. 'I am not cleaning any of them up.'

'No you're not, because you're going to be with me.'

Looking up at the other boy from under his lashes, Liam slowly swept his tongue across his lips and watched as Zayn's gaze dropped to his mouth, all blown pupils and wicked heat. 'I'd be alright with that,' he finally said and let his hand drop ever so casually on Zayn's lap. Liam thought he was probably a little tipsy because he would never be so bold out in public, even if their booth was dark and secluded - or as secluded as possible in a place like this. He dug the heel of his palm into the growing bulge and quirked his lips innocently at the other boy.

Zayn cursed under his breath and gripped the back of Liam's neck tightly. 'Yours or mine?' he asked, tone rough.

Heart racing, Liam knew it was now or never. 'Mine. I have - plans.'

Zayn grinned and hauled Liam up by the hand. They waved at Paul, who nodded back distractedly, more concerned about Louis and Harry who were now shirtless and dancing provocatively with each other in the middle of the crowd. They passed Niall who was on his way back with an armful of drinks.

'What?' Niall looked bewildered as Liam ruffled Niall's hair on his way past.

'Bye,' Zayn called to him with a thumbs up. 'Look out for Lou and Harry, yeah? Liam's going to be out of commission tomorrow!' They snickered at each other, bursting out the side door and into the dark night.

'Bugger is it cold,' Zayn muttered, and then let out a lopsided smile when Liam took the ski cap from inside his jacket pocket and pulled it down over Zayn's head. 'Thanks, babe. Forgot you had it.'

Liam rolled his eyes affectionately and took his hand. 'Let's go, I see an empty cab.'

 

-

 

'We practically gave that cabbie his own private show,' Liam giggled as Zayn pushed him against the closed door. Liam's eyes were bright with laughter, his lips red and raw from the kisses Zayn had given him in the backseat of the taxi. He tried to look disapproving but failed, fingers holding on to the short hairs at the back of Zayn's head, ski cap long gone. 'We have to be more careful.'

Zayn shook his head and planted both hands on either side of Liam's head. 'Love you,' he muttered and kissed the birthmark on Liam's neck.

'Love you too,' Liam said happily, tilting his head sideways and arching his hips when teeth and tongue worked to bring a bruise into existence on his throat. His other hand slipped under Zayn's shirt and pressed flat against his abs. 'Zayn, god.'

With a last suck, Zayn went up and kissed him, and Liam grew dizzy as their mouths slid wetly together, their tongues tangling, no time to breathe. A knee slipped between Liam's thighs.

He dragged in a ragged breath and bit down on Zayn's bottom lip. 'Wait,' he gasped and pulled at the back of Zayn’s collar.

Dark hooded eyes stared at him. Liam swallowed. He shook his head to clear it. 'I have a surprise for you,' he said softly, with the faintest wobble in his voice, and leant forward to kiss Zayn's jaw, hint of stubble pricking his lips. 'But you have to wait out here while I - stay here, alright? Until I say so. You'll - you'll like this, I promise.'

'Yeah?' Zayn rubbed his crotch against Liam's hip and moaned. ‘Hurry, I want to fuck you. Wanted to the whole night.’

Liam gasped and nodded hastily, placing a hand in the middle of Zayn's chest and gently pushing him back. 'Yes, yeah,' and had to bite the inside of his cheek when the other boy caught his hand just as he was about to move away and sucked in his middle finger. Liam's dick was hurting by the time he tugged his finger free from Zayn's hot wet mouth. 'S-Stay,' he stuttered and ran towards his bedroom.

He turned on one of the bedside lamps, casting the room in a faint yellow glow. Liam took several deep breaths, hands scrubbing his face before running through his hair. 'Okay, okay,' Liam kept mumbling as he rummaged through the wardrobe, fingers trembling as he pulled out the short black dress. It was a simple thing, with the back cut low, and Liam glanced at the door to make sure it was closed before he started stripping. He kicked the discarded clothes into the shadows and with a shuddery breath, tugged on the dress. It felt soft as it draped over his body, the hem just grazing his knees. Liam felt guilty and naughty and excited as he tugged on one of the thin straps, and fuck - his erection was tenting the skirt obscenely.

There was a knock on the door and Zayn's low, amused voice spoke from the other side. 'Are you decent in there?'

Liam could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips as he sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets tightly. His belly swooped with nerves. He had to clear his throat twice before calling Zayn in.

The doorknob twisted. Liam's hair fell over his eyes as he lowered his head, a protective curtain he could still peak through. The door pushed open and Liam stopped breathing. It was like everything was moving so slowly except for his heart, thundering away in his chest.

Through the fall of his hair, Liam watched as Zayn stepped inside and then went perfectly still, wide, wide eyes focused on Liam's form on the bed.

'L-Liam,' Zayn rasped, his cheeks burning, lips parted in awe.

Liam swallowed past his dry throat and lifted his chin a fraction. 'I - is this - do you like it?'

Zayn licked his lips and took a step forward, hand raised like he wanted to touch. 'Do I like it?' he repeated Liam's question in disbelief. 'Liam,  _fuck_. How did you - '

'I saw the picture,' Liam blurted out, gaze dropping to where his knees were pressed tightly together, visible below the line of the dress. 'In your mobile. And I didn't mean to see it but I - I did, and I couldn't stop thinking about it, and it made me wonder if you, if you - and if you  _did_ , then I wanted to do this for you.' His voice trailed off into a whisper, catching at the end when he met Zayn's eyes and was consumed by the look in them.

He thought he'd feel awkward and unattractive in the dress, but the way Zayn was staring at him made his entire body burn.

'Liam,' said Zayn reverently, and he was now close enough to trail a finger down Liam's hot cheek, 'you are absolutely wonderful. Just. You look - ' He made a sound low in his throat when his fingers touched the silk neckline.

Liam exhaled softly and tilted his head back even more, revealing his red cheeks and parted lips to that greedy gaze. 'Zayn,' was all he said.

Zayn's chest rose and fell rapidly. When he spoke, his voice had fallen a register, sending a chill through Liam. 'Move back on the bed. Make yourself comfortable.'

The bed dipped as Liam obeyed, scooting back without turning around, gaze on Zayn as the other boy stared back at him in fascination. Liam propped himself against the tower of pillows at the top of the bed, legs slightly bent at the knees so the dress fluttered low and exposed his thighs. Zayn gave himself a small shake, grasped the edge of his button-down, and pulled it over his head. Liam's fingers twitched at the acres of smooth, inked skin revealed. Zayn did quick work on his belt and jeans, pushing them down with his pants in one go. Liam wetted his lips when he caught sight of Zayn's cock, hard and curving towards his belly. 

Zayn crawled up the bed and gently pushed Liam's knees apart, shuffling forward with his hands touching Liam's thighs. They stared at each other for a long second, then Zayn's eyes drifted down, following the dips and curves of Liam's torso, the black dress clinging, and then lingered to where the skirt pooled temptingly.

'Can I - ' Zayn swallowed audibly. 'I want to touch you.'

Liam gave a jerky nod, teeth worrying his lower lip. His toes clenched in anticipation.

There was a slight tremble in Zayn's hands as he slid them higher up Liam's thighs, pausing for a heartbeat when they touched the skirt, then dipping inside like Liam had imagined, making him tilt his hips in invitation.

'Fuck Liam, you look so lovely,' Zayn whispered hoarsely, staring at where his hands disappeared underneath the dress. 'I can't believe you did this for me. I - you're so perfect, and beautiful, and  _Christ_  - ' Zayn's dick jumped and Liam bit his lip so hard it hurt, because Zayn's fingers had just hooked into the waistband of his panties.

'Please,' Liam pleaded. He was so bloody hard, straining against the lace knickers he wore, just inches from Zayn’s hands. His hands clutched at the duvet. He couldn’t believe how hot this was, he should have done this ages ago, he -

With a desperate sound, Zayn pushed Liam's legs even further apart, the skirt tumbling down, and Liam’s dick was exposed, trapped in white lace. 'Fuck you're really wearing - ' Zayn let out a harsh breath and bent down to suck open-mouthed at Liam's erection.

The first barely-there touch sent a jolt through Liam and he cried out loudly, one hand reaching down to grab hold of Zayn's hair. 'Fuck  _Zayn_ , please,' he whimpered, rolling his hips when he felt Zayn's tongue moving over the lace, 'take them off please, suck me, I want to feel your mouth.'  

He looked down and moaned when he saw Zayn's head between his legs, partially obscured by the skirt. It was such a dirty image, with his thighs spread open as far as they would go and beyond that the movement of Zayn's arm as he jerked himself off, that Liam had to close his eyes and drop his head back against the pure fucking need that rushed through him. It wasn't  _enough_  - the teasing swipe of Zayn's tongue and lips weren't nearly enough.

Stomach tightening, Liam pushed Zayn back and went up to his knees at the same time. They were both breathing heavily, Zayn's eyes so dark and intense that Liam's heart tripped, and he cupped Zayn's ears and crushed their lips together. He wanted his cock touched, fingers in his arse. Zayn gripped Liam's hips in a bruising hold, fingertips digging in as he tried his best to lick Liam's tonsils. It was wet and messy and needy, their chests heaving, their hips rutting. Liam pulled Zayn's upper lip with his teeth and heard him hiss. One hand slipped back and cupped Liam's arsecheek through the skirt, the fabric bunched between fingers.

'Li, fuck, Liam,' Zayn muttered breathlessly as he licked the sweat under Liam's jaw.

Liam grasped Zayn's bare shoulders, dragged his palms down wiry arms and then back again. He dipped his head and swirled his tongue over Zayn's nipple, a thrill going up his spine as his fingers touched and traced naked, glorious skin while he was still fully dressed. He shuffled and prodded them round until it was Zayn sitting back against the pillows, still squeezing Liam's arse, eyes hooded as he watched Liam kneel in front of him. Liam kissed him, soft brushes of lips, breathing slowing as the urgency ebbed for the moment, the mood shifting noticeably. Their lips separated with a slick sound.

Feeling bold, Liam let a coy smile flicker over his face. 'What do you want me to do, Zayn? I'll do anything.''

Zayn sucked in a sharp breath. His fingers wrapped loosely round the base of his erection, stroking upward and drawing Liam's gaze along with it. 'I want you to take of your knickers, Li. Slowly.'

Pulse jumping, Liam dragged his hands down his hips, smoothing out the now wrinkled fabric, and then slipped underneath and grasped the waistband of his underwear. The dress hiked up over his wrists. With a twist of his hips, eyes locked with Zayn's, Liam carefully pushed the knickers down his thighs, unable to stop the mewl of pleasure as the fabric brushed his sensitive dick. He grabbed on to Zayn's knee for balance as he slid the underwear out of one leg first, then the other. He dropped it on the floor and spread his hands, wordlessly asking Zayn what came next.

Zayn growled and swept his thumb over his slick dickhead. ‘Get the lube and, and prepare yourself. Need to be inside you, Liam.'

Liam's mouth opened a tiny bit before he reached towards the table next to the bed. His breath hitched when he felt Zayn  _finally_ touch his sensitive cock, just a quick upstroke once, twice, and then a murmured, 'The lube, babe,' into his chest. Liam's fingers scrambled for the tube. He straightened and tore off the cap, squeezing a generous amount on his fingers before it went the same way as the knickers.

He kept his eyes on Zayn as his fingers crept back and his knees parted. Liam felt the cool slickness first, then his own finger, circling then pushing into his hole. His chest locked on an inhale as he arched his spine and his finger went deeper. 'God,' he exhaled and rocked his hips. Eyes he hadn't realised he'd closed flew open when Zayn's hand pushed up his dress and pinned it to his hip with a hand for a better view, Liam's dick bobbing every time he fucked down on one finger, then two, then three. He twisted his fingers and whimpered when he found his prostate, hearing an echoing groan from the other boy. 'Zayn,' he moaned out loud, growing desperate again, fingers shoving up his own arse, and fuck, that was so - it felt so - 'Zayn!'

'Yeah, okay, Li, I'm here,' Zayn said and gently pulled Liam's fingers out. He peppered kisses on Liam's throat, sucked another bruise just below his collarbone. 'I am going to fuck you so good. Like, you won't be able to walk straight for days.  _Fuck_ , Liam,' and Liam had to agree as he lowered himself on Zayn's dick, little swivels of his hips sucking Zayn in deeper. Sweat trickled down his face and neck as Liam moaned continuously at the stretch and burn, Zayn's dick touching every inch inside him until he was all swallowed up, their groins pressed flushed together. Liam would be embarrassed at the amount of noise he was making but there was no time for that as Zayn thrust up into him, making Liam's teeth clatter and his cock weep. He pulled at his hair and licked his lips as they got into rhythm, fast and rough. The dress clung to Liam's skin, drenched in sweat.

Liam splayed a hand on Zayn's hot chest, felt his crazy heartbeat under his palm. He ground down on every one of Zayn's thrusts. 'So bloody good, Zayn, god, you feel so  _big_  and oh  _fuck_ , yeah, harder, there, please - '

Zayn stared up at Liam slack-jawed, grip crushingly tight on Liam's hips. 'Christ Liam, you're so hot. Fuck. Fuck. So good inside of you babe, you don't know - '

'Kiss me,' Liam demanded and Zayn nodded eagerly and sat up with a groan, one arm winding round Liam's waist, the other stretched out behind him for balance; gravity pushing Liam down so that they were as close as possible. Liam let out a cry against Zayn's mouth as Zayn started fucking him again in earnest. It wasn't comfortable, and their muscles ached, but Liam swept his tongue over Zayn's teeth, holding on for dear life. The kiss was sloppy, their mouths slipping on every thrust, but Liam shuddered at how fucking great it all was.

Liam couldn't think. Little gasps escaped his lips every time Zayn hit his sweet spot, tiny 'uh uh uh' noises against Zayn's temple.

'I need to come, Li,' Zayn forced out through clenched teeth. He bit down on Liam's shoulder and pulled out of Liam, making Liam cry out and scratch his nails on skin. Zayn manhandled Liam onto his back, kicking the duvet to the foot of the bed with a curse. Liam reached for him, and Zayn lifted one of Liam's legs on to his shoulder, hooked his elbow underneath the other, and sank back into him with a roll of his hips. They groaned into each other's mouths, foreheads pushed together, bodies straining and rocking needfully. Liam reached for his dick and began stripping it harshly, matching Zayn's pace, driving himself crazy. His other hand twisted in Zayn's hair.

'Love you, Zayn, love you, love you, love you,' Liam babbled against the other boy's cheek, eyes squeezed shut, lips bitten raw.

Zayn’s face twisted and he put his mouth right next to Liam's ear, whispered, 'Liam, thank you,' and bit down on his earlobe.

And that - Liam gasped as every nerve ending in his body sparked, lit up, burned, and then exploded: it felt like shattering into a million pieces, like flying, like falling, like singing, like -

 

-

 

When Liam came to, he felt exhausted, and sore, and sleepy, but like, also really, really glorious. And a bit suffocated.

He opened his eyes, blinked away the sweat that dropped from his hair into his eyes, and saw the whorls of Zayn's ear. No wonder he still couldn't breathe right - Zayn was sprawled on top of him like dead weight. He gently shoved at his shoulder and Zayn muttered irritably but rolled away. Liam inhaled and stretched languidly, wincing when his bum protested the movement. His thighs were slick with come, trickling from his arse, and Liam made a face. It was leagues better without a condom but the mess after was always a little annoying.

Liam looked at Zayn for a bit, his fingers ghosting over the other boy's features. A silly smile blossomed on his face, eyes crinkled at the corners. Liam couldn't believe he'd done it – done and said the things he had – and it was impossible feel embarrassed because it had been  _fantastic_. Nothing was going to top that for a while.

With a contented little sigh, Liam sat up and glanced down at himself. He was still wearing the dress, only it was wrinkled and damp and come-splattered. Liam tugged on one of the straps with pursed lips. He pulled the outfit over his head, mussing his hair even further. Balling it up in one hand, Liam used it to wipe away the stains on his chest and arse, wanting a bath but too tired to actually get up from the bed. He turned to Zayn and said 'Hey,' quietly when he saw Zayn looking at him, head propped on his fist. He couldn’t help the faint blush on his cheeks.

A smile curved Zayn's lips. 'Hey you.' His voice was still gravelly and intimate, and an echo of pleasure went through Liam at the sound.

'You took it off,' observed Zayn as Liam cleaned him up.

'Of course, it was gross,' said Liam with a snort at the other boy's disappointed tone. He tossed the wrecked garment on the floor, made a mental note to clean up in the morning, and dragged the duvet up over their legs as Liam settled against Zayn's side. He sighed contentedly at the feel of skin on skin, his nose pushed into Zayn's collarbone. Fingers carded through his soppy hair, pushing it back and then twirling the half-curls around. Liam's eyes grew heavy at the soothing touch, sleep beckoning him under. It had been such a long day. Not even the exhilaration of cross-dressing for his boyfriend could keep him awake much longer.

'Thank you, babe,' Zayn murmured eventually, breaking the silence, making Liam's eyelashes flutter.

'You said that already,' Liam pointed out sleepily with a feathery kiss to Zayn's tattoo.

Zayn sounded terribly fond, and still a bit amazed, when he said, 'I'll keep saying it because I never thought it'd happen. It was a stupid fantasy of mine, and it was weird, and then seeing you - ' Zayn's exhale ruffled the top of Liam's head. His fingers trailed lower, swirling on Liam's shoulder before running up and down his side. 'Where did you even get the dress? And - and the knickers,  _god_ , Li.'

Liam shifted until he was lying on his back, Zayn's hand low on his belly, tracing the lines of his abs. He gave a half-shrug, mouth curling shyly. 'The, ehm, knickers I got online and, I sort of, um, borrowed the dress from when we did that thing in France?'

Zayn's eyes widened before his shoulders shook with mirth, dropping his forehead on top of Liam's. 'You  _stole_  the dress? Jesus Christ, Liam.'

Liam scrunched up his face and covered it with both hands. 'I said borrowed, not stole.'

'What, are you going to return it by Royal Mail? “ _Here's your dress back. It went swimmingly, boyfriend loved it immensely. Cheers, Liam Payne_ ”?'

Liam huffed and grabbed a handful of Zayn's hair and twisted. 'I'm not going to - just shut up, okay? It's not even that funny.'

Hazel eyes twinkled down at him. 'But it is, babe. The lads would find it hilarious - not that I plan on telling them, obviously,' Zayn quickly added at the sight of Liam's distressed face. He curled an arm round Liam's waist and snuggled closer to him, cheek pressed to Liam's temple.

A finger poked Zayn in the ribs. 'You better not or I'll be forced to kill you and dump your body in the Thames.'

'The Thames, eh? How original,' Zayn teased. ‘But that was – was that why you’ve been acting oddly all this time?’

Liam snuffled and yawned. 'Hmm yeah.' He smiled sheepishly. ‘I saw the picture on your phone – I wasn’t snooping or whatever, but you know, sorry for invading your privacy – and got obsessed over it. A bit. I’m sorry I made you worry.’

‘No, I only wanted,’ – Zayn’s cheeks felt hot against Liam’s face – ‘I did say I thought you looked good. I didn’t find it sexy before, or thought I ever would, but on you – you always manage to fuck up my kinks, Liam. And I should be the one apologising, yeah? I didn’t ask if I could, I just took the picture. I’ll delete it if you want.’

Liam smiled. ‘No, don’t apologise or delete anything. I don’t mind if you take pictures of me or whatever, as long as you hide away the truly embarrassing ones. Maybe use a better app next time, though.’

‘Duly noted,’ Zayn said lightly, but underlined with gratitude and tenderness, his arms surrounding Liam tightly.

Liam listened to the heartbeat under his ear, a match to his own. He couldn’t help but ask, 'You enjoyed it though, right?'

There was a pause, then: 'Yeah, no, Liam, it was just alright,' Zayn said dryly, and he could practically hear the eye-roll.

Liam quirked his lips and closed his eyes. It had been  _so_  worth all those months of agony and fixation. 'Night, Zayn.'

Soft lips touched his temple. 'Night, Li: thank you, thank you.'

 

 -

 

It was winter in a foreign city and it was beautiful. Liam watched the snow falling gently over Tokyo, blurring and softening its modern silhouette. He was thousands of miles away from home but it didn't feel weird and lonely anymore. He laughed and said, 'Look at them, the prats,' in a fond tone. He and Zayn watched as Harry, Niall, and Louis fought each other with the fake samurai swords they'd bought at a shop in Akihabara yesterday. They looked hilariously ridiculous jumping about and swinging their swords in their coats, hats, and scarves.

'Die!' Niall yelled and chased after Harry. He swung at the other boy's chest and Harry clutched at his heart theatrically and fell over. Louis raised his sword and shouted, 'Vengeance for my love!' and jumped at Niall.

'They're going to get hypothermia like that,' said Zayn with a curl of his lips, 'and you'll have to take care of them.'

Liam made a face and shook his head. 'You're right.' He placed a hand on the windowsill and shouted, 'Oi you sods! Come inside and warm up; I'm not playing nurse if you lot get ill. We have a show in three days!'

Harry waved at them from where he was lying on the snow-covered ground. 'Hullo Liam! Hullo!' Then he sneezed.

Zayn dangled his hand out the window, cigarette held loosely between fingertips. He blew the smoke out and snickered. 'If you get the flu from those idiots I won't let you sleep with me.'

'I love you too,' Liam said sarcastically. He wriggled his toes where they were pressed against Zayn's thigh, their legs tangled together underneath the duvet over their laps. The mug of tea Zayn held in his other hand wobbled the tiniest bit where it was balanced on his knee.

Zayn just smiled sweetly at him and took one last inhale of his fag before putting it out. Liam slumped against the arm of the sofa and played Tetris on his phone, which he was still the undefeated champion of. A gust of cold air blew at his fringe and Liam raked it back absentmindedly. He glanced up and caught Zayn staring at him, the corners of his lips tipped up in an adoring way.

Liam touched the camera app and raised his mobile. He took a picture of Zayn looking just like that -  _click_  - Zayn sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes -  _click_  - Zayn smiling as he mouthed 'I love you' -  _click_.

Liam lowered his hands and leaned over their knees to meet Zayn halfway for a snog. He tasted like cigarettes, Earl Grey, and his honey lip balm. Liam licked his lips and whispered the words back.

Moments later, Liam's eyes crinkled at the corners. 'Look!' he said and turned his phone around so Zayn could see his stupid face. They shared a laugh.

Zayn pushed Liam's fringe to the side and stroked his cheekbone. 'Tell me this feeling lasts forever,' he said quietly. Zayn's eyes were warm and soft, his cheeks red from the cold.

Liam's gaze dropped to the last photo he'd taken. He traced the pucker of Zayn's lips at “you” and felt like the luckiest person in the world. He didn't think he would ever be this happy again and was half-afraid to be proven wrong in future.

'Of course it will,' he said honestly. They beamed at each other like idiots until Louis shouted Zayn's name and made him look out the window. Liam wrapped his fingers around Zayn's wrist and lifted his hand holding the mug and took a sip of tea.

 

-

 

the end

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is love :)


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